Food Battles... please help!

Neither Jay or I are really picky eaters but somehow we created a very picky eater. As an infant James ate what I gave him, then he developed a mind of his own, began picking up what he wanted to eat and skipping over the other things. He doesn't eat much meat- it has to be chopped up very small in spaghetti sauce so he can't really see it and he'll typically eat Chick-fil-A nuggets, but no other type of chicken nuggets (I've even tried re-using the box).

I'm really at a loss. His menu of what he'll eat and what he wants isn't exactly the greatest. He used to eat Peanut butter but it seems to be falling off the list too. I've taken him to the store to help me pick things out he wants to try but that hasn't resulted in anything other than him choosing muffins or cereal or snacks.

In the past month I've done a few things, taking cues from the Supernanny and others. Whatever I made for dinner for Jay and I, I also gave to James and asked that he take at least a bite. He refused, throwing a fit, ended up sitting in the naughty seat (time out) about 9 times until we hit bed time then he went to bed without even trying it. Then I tried the same thing again, but also gave him a few other things along with the "main dish" like fruits and veggies I knew he'd eat, and once again he threw a fit and refused to even try it.

Then, sadly, I gave up. He was going to bed hungry and I was spending the whole evening, and sometimes the whole day, frustrated. He's very strong willed apparently.

He's a good breakfast eater... likes oatmeal, cereal, waffles and pancakes. He likes fruit and he eats a good bit of veggies, both raw and cooked (likes the raw ones especially with hummus). But it's the meats, the main dishes that we are struggling with. He won't try grilled chicken, any other pasta except spaghetti, any meats, sandwiches, mac-n-cheese, or practically anything that doesn't look like something he knows about.

Am I choosing the wrong battle? Am I forcing him to try too early, to sit at the table and take x number of bites before being excused? Any tips to help expand his eating habits without constant time out, tears, and him saying "I don't want to, I don't want to" over and over again!

oh sigh!